


Heart Break Expert

by amouric



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Fem dan, High School, Jealousy, M/M, feminine dan, jock phil, popular phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 11:44:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amouric/pseuds/amouric
Summary: in where dan helps fix broken hearts





	Heart Break Expert

**Author's Note:**

> hey!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> P R O L O G U E
> 
> love is about taking risks.
> 
>  
> 
> dan is okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello?

 

Dan Howell was well...

f o r g o t t e n

Forgotten like a flower given by an old lover left on a glass vase to leisurely die, slowly killing itself and suffocating inside, seeming pretty and alive but secretly dying.

He was forgotten from the boy he once loved, from the boy he risked everything for, from the boy he would think about so many times throughout the day and he dreamed about each night. 

From the boy he truly missed, from the boy that left him on a state on dysphoria, broken accidentally, his heart completely crushed,

It wasn't any boy, it was the boy that used to wait for him in the swing set everyday with an extra sandwich in his hand, which the boys mom would make just for Dan since his mother was rarely home to actually cook for him. It was the boy that would wait for Dan with a smile that would make his cheek hurt, from the boy that taught him patiently how to love.It wasn't any boy, it was Phil.The boy Dan was still not over. 

That same boy, that would make butterflies and flowers bloom on him, making ethereal gardens with a never ending collection of flowers growing, ended up breaking him, stepping on and crushing every single flower that he had grown inside of Dan.

But the thing was, no one wanted it broken, it was an accident. It wasn't the plan to end up as messed up as he ended up being, but he was in fact broken. It wasn't the boys fault and it definitely wasn't Dan's.

He sometimes wondered if he could fix it like he did with others peoples heart.

But this scar on his heart was too deep to get fixed with selfish acts of affections or band aids, band aids couldn't fix a broken heart, not even those expensive ones that Dan liked ( sometimes the band aids he bought had Disney princesses or winnie the pooh characters, but of course he would never tell anyone about him actually enjoying his weird really freaking expensive band aids)

Dan actually got used to his broken heart, even accepted it as a part of who he was, not a pretty one but who cares.

Love was weird, like really weird.You could find millions of definition of this single word, each person having its own experience with it and story to tell.It could be like rain for some, showering upon you and making  you feel inexplicably happy and free, but later on, you get cold, or like a storm for others bringing problems and making a hurricane of disasters that couldn't be fixed from a beginning, or it could be like a hill filled with flowers with the bright sun hitting your back and warming you up inside making you feel safe and sound.(Or maybe love wasn't real at all?)

But Dan liked to think that it could not be described in words, it was something simply magical, like a blooming flower, representing their feelings and actions for each other's, the flower was beautiful and fragile, a slight wind or whisper could even knock it down and it would break with a sound so silent only some could hear it, and it was mandatory to hurt.And so there's no safe investment or game or plan in love, to love is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart could end up being broken and wrung.Love was a risk.

Getting heartbroken was an art and he was the main piece of the gallery, framed and hanged carefully.

But one heart break was like no other, leaving the heart burning with a never ending fire burning inside, burning everything that might cross path with his broken heart.

He was in love and he was not.

That could be used as a summary of everything, and that was probably the end of the story for him but for Dan, the love he felt was infinite.

Dan remembered everything about him, everything. He recalled the day he first saw him, like yesterday, it was raining and young Dan was outside, he was sat at the swing, one hand wrapped around the cold metal that held the hanging seat and the other in his sweater trying to keep himself warm.He wasn't really thinking about anything in general just had his eyes closed trying to relax when he heard the sound of someone running which startled him causing his eyes to open and stare at the boy that was now in front of him, he seemed older than Dan and had his pretty black hair wet from running in the rain.

"Aren't you cold?"The new black haired boy with icy blue eyes stared straight at him with curiosity, and Dan couldn't seem to open his mouth as he struggled to form words.He just stared back at the boy with dull eyes.

"Oh I must have scared you" His voice seemed sincere with the apology as he smiled  cutely"My names Phil"I nodded dully not wanting to talk just wanting the boy to go away still but he kept talking excited"But I really wish it was Ricky Blitz" And that just made Dan giggle as the boy, Phil just stared pleased with a smile."Hey! Don't laugh!!It's a cool name"And Dan was smitten by just a few words coming from the handsome boy.

They were young and as they grew they grew closer together. They became the very best of friends, Phil always tried to protect him from everything or everyone that would be mean to him and Dan was always there to put a band aid on when he fell or got hurt. Since Phil was a year older they didn't see each other much at school  but every single day they would go to the park or to Phil's house, they would go on long walks and laugh at Phil's lame jokes or whatever Dan would say with rose buds blooming in his cheeks.

But as the rules of life stated with clarity, they grew older, grew apart.Time took over and now he was lucky to even catch his eyes on the schools hallway, and now the only place they would talk were in Dan's dreams, Dan kept on falling asleep while Phil kept on falling out of the picture.

They grew apart when Phil started middle school or when he found his new popularity which came with brand new friends and personality.Puberty decided to mess him up and all the girls of the school were head over heels for him. They stopped seeing each other, Phil stopped coming to the park and he stopped saving a seat on the swing for Dan, The school grew and so did his popularity, and Dan went completely unnoticed.

He became a heartthrob, playboy a heart breaker and Dan became known as the heartbreak expert and would normally end up curing the girls that Phil broke.

Dan knew very well that everyone eventually grew out of their heartbreak eventually, so he would eventually..Right? I mean he was the heartbreak expert he should know...Right?

 

He was the boy that people would cry on his shoulder while he consoled them whispering inspiring little things and giving them sweet tea with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.Yep. That was what Dan Howell was known for in high school.

He naturally possessed the virtue of consoling heartbroken people, a bit messed up now that he thinks about it.

People often thought that Dan was perfect, not being popular but having true friends (who would never ever hurt him), he had a nice house, lived alone and was known around since everyone went to him when they had a relationship problem.He was the doctor for those with a shattered heart,but little did people know that he was the one with the most shattered one.

To be honest he didn't even know if he had his heartbroken because, to have your heartbroken you needed a relationship.

And in no way did Dan have that

Why let anyone ruin your life when you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself?

In high school everyone was famous for something, like the goths, the tomboys, the gays,the mean girls, the jocks, the stoner's, the girly girls the artsy kids, the bulles, the loners and the popular ones which could be putted in many categories but Dan hated putting people into groups, it was dumb but still these were their main identities and what they were known for.But Dan wasn't in any of those typical groups, he was perhaps the most messed up. You know being the heartbreak expert wasn't exactly common in many high schools.

But he loved it cause he was known for it and he was loved for it.

Being Dan, he needed to be loved because he was well Dan, fragile, weak and as many people would say "quite feminine", referring to what he sometimes wore which were considered girly clothes but Dan liked to think that clothes didn't have to be specifically for one sex, anybody had the rights to wear whatever they were comfortable with, if he wasn't the heartbreak expert as he was now he would without a doubt  be bullied and probably crushed as he used to be.

The high school system had levels or steps and you had to very clever to be at the top. Which was mandatory to remain alive in school.Because if you stood too low in the pyramid you were more likely to be crushed, being devoured by others above you. Dan had experience it before and in no way did he  wanted it to happen again.

The high school system was just like a staircase with the most popular on the top pushing the less popular to the bottom steps until they are completely crushed and thrown away.

He had to survive and so he did.

People came to his door weeping with watery bloodshot eyes and all Dan had to do was to give them a pat on the shoulder with a concerned expression and brew some sweet tea, bake some chocolate chip cookies while motivating them with advice and helping them move on.

This might sound weird, petty or desperate for some but Dan thought but everything changes when even the schools meanest queen would cry by his shoulder, it was an easy way to survive, plus he enjoyed making people happy, it made him feel useful.

It was like a mutualism relationship, he benefited by being respected and love while the others got their problem fixed. It helped both cases, and more often than not he ended up relating to everything the heart broken person would tell him, cause they often were there for the same cause Phil Lester, school famous heartthrob, messy black hair, sometimes in a quiff sometimes in the weird emo fringe and sometimes just messy,icy blue eyes which send shivers down your spine if you catched them, captain of the football team and his former best friend who decided from one day to another to completely forget about me.Everyone loved him, but he loved him before everyone did. He was there first he guessed he could say.

But it was pathetic how much he still missed him.

He was in love and he was not.

He was in love with him, he was in love with her.

That could be used as a summary of everything, and that was probably the end of the story for him but for Dan, the love he felt was infinite.

Hazel was Phil's current girlfriend and the most lasting relationship for now,Hazel and Phil were the dream couple of everyone, a picture perfect couple, him being team captain and Hazel being a  cheerleader.You would expect that Dan wanted to kill Hazel, but surprisingly not, Hazel was kind, funny, beautiful and a girl. All which Dan was not.

Hazel made Phil smile more than Dan could ever make him smile so Dan did not object to it.Dan remember the exact day Phil asked Hazel to be his girlfriend, everyone remembered, it was in the football field Phil held a rose bouquet and his eyes seemed to sparkle as he saw the smile that appeared in Hazels face.And Dan was fine.Totally fine.

And Dan was the expert on moving on so why wouldn't he be fine with this? He was okay. More than okay.

P R O L O G U E

d y s p h o r i a :  
a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.

WORD COUNT: 2099

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this sucks just bear with me

**Author's Note:**

> take care, drink water and say thank you! xx


End file.
